Middle East?

Been thinking of teaching English at colleges or universities in the Middle East countries. The pay is very good, tax free, free school, free transports. Will I be considered, with zero experience and majoring in literature student? Don't know. Honestly can't see anything yet. Meanwhile, I'll just sit here doing my assignments and routine jobs.. sigh again..

Tired

Too tired of coming to office every single day. They say if you want to succeed, work hard, day and night. My sleep was low quality for about 10 days, I was worried about the blocked drain at my bathroom. I was terrified if it rains, alhamdulillah Allah granted us a very hot and humid weather for more than two weeks already. Now that everything is in order, I now worry about moving out from that house. I can't stay there forever, I need to rent a better house. But if I do, I would have to minimize my monthly savings. Sigh... I am so weak to think of any better solution. Allah, please help me, show me the right path..

How I wish to have this view at my home..so calm, only if I could safely call it, my home..

100 words.com

wrote one piece today. January's posts has been closed, saving it for next month. I'm taking the challenge to write at least a piece of work in a day. Need to write more to improve. Challenging myself, pushing myself to the limit.

Counting..

Not a productive day. Been trying to read the Greek myth but didn't seem to enjoy or even finish reading it. No joke, already starting my major. And that research paper! sigh, that's a lot of work! will try to be strong in adapting to the challenges.

Darkened Mirage

Darkened Mirage

They sat stiffly on the bench at the garden. They have called her as there is “something” to tell. As she draws nearer, she could see Judith is sobbing. Brown looks sad. That “something” seems to be cloudy.

Only her latchkey hanging out of her pocket sounded as the wind blew. She stood facing them. They are still quiet. “Emma, the railroad disaster last night….” She looked at Brown. Judith drowned herself in tears. There is a stern silence except for Judith’s eerie weeps. The wind had seemed to stop, adding echoes to Judith’s tears. She knew that Jack was killed in the railroad disaster.

Slowly she walks into her room. The dim-lighted alley has always been loyal, waiting for her. She is immune to the muteness of the alley. She doesn’t know how to feel. She could hear her heart stomping loudly. Her heart condition is not as stable as expected but suddenly she feels the ally has been brightened up a little.

Emma looked at her room. She felt a pang of emptiness. She observes Jack’s collections of key chains. They stood majestically on his study table. She moved to the window. The morning sun pierced into her eyes, quickly she pulled the curtains and locked the window. She feels secured when everything is shut. Then she feels her heart stumbled into her eyes, a sudden anguish had frozen there. The room had become darker, as if the walls are going to press her. She felt a heavy chill in her spine that shouted that Jack is dead. She fell motionlessly to the floor, she can’t reach her feet, her keys dropped off her pocket.

The word “dead” comes trampling into her ears. She cried violently reflecting Jack’s sweet odor. Wept and wept until her chest had become heavy.

“Judith, I need to see my mother in Tucson. I can’t be staying in this house anymore,” I said to Judith, perhaps still conforming that her brother had died. “I know, after fifteen years, your life starts here.” Her words, however kind she had put it, came damp and narrowed.

I nodded. I restored my teenage years. Getting married to Jack is the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me and the small village. Jack, the successful, charming young man from town, with a stable job, asked for my hand, just after I had finished school.

Is this freedom? Free to walk to the train station, going back to see momma? I should be happy, after all, this is the very moment that I have been waiting for. In the car, I feel blessed. My husband had just died but it seems like he has been gone for so long. I gripped my room keys that are still sitting in my pocket. This is the only thing that would remind me of Jack.

I would be able to see my family again. Free? Liberty? I wouldn’t want to question what freedom is. Being able to see my parents is the first decision I had ever made on my own. I wouldn’t want to look back, I am overwhelmed with fantasies about the future. I smiled and smiled, holding on to my room key as if they would fall off from my hands. At this moment, I
am as red as a poppy, eyes as bright as the street lamps. Sometimes I giggle, until my cheek feels a bit tired. I am exhilarated, welcoming the new joy of freedom .

Numb and refrained, I board the train. Not many people are on the train, may be they fear another disaster would occur. I am a bit nervous when the train started to move, the scream of the engine seems to hurt my ears. Whenever I fell scared or unsecured, I reach for the keys and hold on to it, my lifeline for so many years, and still is.

After nine hours, the train came to a halt. Another disaster? Who would tarnish her freedom now? Only one hour left to her hometown but the train seems to be stopping for ages.

Most passengers on the coach are asleep. There’s no one to talk to. Everything is dim, she recalled the alley just before her room. Her leg had become stiff after sitting for so long. She walked to another coach, everybody on the coach looked at her weirdly. She walks back to her seat but again, those passenger who were asleep before, planted a comical stare at her. How long should I wait? I want to be free, free, free but focused.

Emma left the train. Nothing is going to stop her now. She walks, hoping to reach her hometown by foot. Free? Hopefully, she will reach home before dark, she just wants to erase the dark alley adjacent to her room from her vision.

Why is the time not moving? The time is tremendously dull. She is exhausted from the long walk and her heart is troubling her. She felt the curse on her chest. Please, please don’t, I need to see my mom. She quickened her pace. There’s a thrill in her walking now. Her lips had dried out. The anxiety of reaching home has thickened. Now she ran a bit, sights of her parents welcoming her are flashing through. She is stormed to cut the chase. She ran excitedly. Freedom, that is all she wanted now.

My heart seems to fail me. The mirage of my home has gone and my energy had gradually faded. I passionately gripped the keys hoping for more energy. Suddenly darkness blankets in. Dark? My knees had become shapeless. My heart beats with a weird rhythm. I fell to the ground. Dark. My steel lifelines are still in my hands. With a slight smile I tried to catch my breath. Nothing seems to work.

Freedom was a mirage from darkness.

The sun of 1429H

Started my new year with puasa. Glad it's a holiday, or else I would however be gossiping about people. Read a bit, slept a lot! Debts paid off. What do I intend to do for next year to come? I hope to be a better person, who could see things positively and differently. I should read more books, meditate more, and more of solat sunat. I am all geared up for the applications for financial assistance. New semester has come, a tougher one I should say with academic writings that I would love to relate to literature. Greek mythology seems to scare me though. How time flies, next year would be my final year already! Wow how time waits for no one! Should be polishing on my syntax or else I would never be happy for myself. Talked about migrating and working at the Middle East. What awaits me there, no one would be able predict. Let this rest for a while till I graduate in 2009. May Allah grant me and my fellow Muslims a better year ahead!

Rewriting a fairy tale from the perspective of the evil character: Rapunzel

[My lady's presence makes the roses red]
My lady's presence makes the roses red,Because to see her lips they blush for shame.The lily's leaves, for envy, pale became,And her white hands in them this envy bred.The marigold the leaves abroad doth spread,Because the sun's and her power is the same.The violet of purple colour came.Dyed in the blood she made my heart to shed.In brief: all flowers from her their virtue take;From her sweet breath their sweet smells do proceed;The living heat which her eyebeams doth makeWarmeth the ground and quickeneth the seed.The rain, wherewith she watereth the flowers,Falls from mine eyes, which she dissolves in showers.
Henry Constable

Frederick,

You wrote me this poem after we strolled the beach. We proudly braved the massive storms and vowed to be together, rain or shine. We talked and talked and whispered about happiness. Your shoulders were my pillows. My doubts are quickly washed by your words. We counted the stars and envied the moon. Everyday is a sparkle of twilights. We beamed on each other’s heart. Clouds of sorrow depart.

I risked my life to climb the prohibited palace to pick the rapunzels for your darling wife. You asked for her hand to please your parents. Still, we showered our love secretly at night, with rapunzels witnessing. I religiously waited for the time to come, when you would take me in your heart. We dreamed for the time to come, day and night, we crossed our fingers, we sealed our love with a pure kiss, not even a slight drizzle would dampened our feelings. We kept it as blue as the smiling sky, as sizzling as the scorching sun.

The day your baby was born, you left me. You said Rapunzel’s smile was everything to you. You left me Frederick. You left me. Rapunzel took my place in your heart. You betrayed our love. I crippled for ages. I wept and wept but there are no shoulders to cry on. For eons I live with the thought to love and to be loved by only you.

I need not apologize for the way I treated Rapunzel. It is the curse from her that I am forced to prison that girl. No words could describe my sufferings after you deceived me. I will, now and forever keep her as my possession. I struggled with pains. My days are filled with pains and sorrow.

You, Frederick, you should pay for all my tears and weeps. You darkened my life, only Rapunzel’s long fine locks will keep my life brightened. Every time I brush her long hair, it reminds me of your touch, how secured I was when I stared at her hair, as promising as the stars, as shining as the holy moon.

Take me Frederick, this holy love is still burning for you. Love me, marry me, don’t leave me here with your Rapunzel. Heal my pain. You are my remedy. The love of my life. My Valentine. Free me from this agony and I’ll free your Rapunzel.

References:
http://www.theromantic.com/poetryclassic/lovestrinity.htm
http://www.poetry.com/greatestpoems/listlove.asp
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm012.html